"It's frustrating," says Goldsmith. "My team got out of the gates fine, but then we started to slump. I made things worse with some moves that backfired, and then the injuries started to pile up. By August I wasn't running a fantasy team, I was running a MASH unit."
Goldsmith's team, The Two-Bit Actors, is currently running 8th in the 12-team Beer Guys League. It's his 14th season playing fantasy baseball, with his best finish being fifth place all the way back in 1998. "It's hard to believe that after all these years I'm still trying to recreate the magic of that 1998 season when I finished fifth," admits Goldsmith. "Although, in fairness, our league only had 6 teams that season -- and one of them was run by the Budweiser Frogs."
So who is winning the Beer Guys League this season? Goldsmith bristles at the question. "Oh, it's one of those Miller Lite bartender chicks," he says with the wave of a hand. "Turns out she's not just hot, she's also smart. And too cool for school. I tried to get her phone number, but she told me point blank that she prefers athletes."
Pictured above: Goldsmith gets scolded by a colleague. "Uh, Jonathan, you do realize you can't smoke that filthy thing in here, right?"
Looking ahead to next season, Goldsmith is already getting excited. He vows not to repeat the mistake he made back in June when he traded away Jose Bautista for Stephen Strasburg. In fact, he likes the idea of taking Bautista in the first round. "I wouldn't pass up on 50 home runs a second time, would you?"
When asked if he could say something interesting about fantasy baseball just like his character in the Dos Equis commercials, Goldsmith thought for an uncomfortable seven seconds before finally admitting that he'd need someone from the ad agency to write the line. He then declined further comment.
Stay thirsty for first, my friend.