Sunday, July 27, 2008

What if?

You've just won the opportunity of a lifetime. For one inning, you get to sit in the dugout with your favorite team during a Major League Baseball game. Yes, you, dressed in the home whites, sitting among your heroes. Sure, maybe some of the bigger stars won't pay you as much attention, but at least some of the journeymen are chatting you up, making sure you feel welcome and "part of the team." There's a lot of swearing, chewing, spitting, and scratching going on in that dugout, not to mention the smell of wooden bats and the dust coming in from the infield. You're right there in middle of it all with the best seat in the house.

As it turns out, one of the guys on the team discovers he went to the same college as you and offers to exchange cell phone numbers. You can't believe this is happening. And then, as if it couldn't get any better, your team's best player is now digging in at the plate. You're hoping he hits a homer. After all, he already hit one in his first AB of the game.

But something else happens. He gets drilled by a fastball in the shoulder. The reaction in the dugout is very negative--a lot of hollering at the pitcher. Your team's best player shakes it off, takes three steps toward first and then suddenly looks at the pitcher.

Then he charges the mound.

Now, I think we all know what happens next...

My question to you, the regular fan sitting in the dugout, is this: What would you do and why?


Chairman said...

I think that I go out there, swinging, and go down in infamy. Maybe go find Don Zimmer or some other old dude.

Why do you ask? You going to hang out in the dugout of a Rays game soon?

Greg McConnell said...


If I had given this question as a pop quiz on the first day of my Etiquette of Major League Baseball 101 class, and if you had simply written down those first two sentences as your answer, then I'd have given you an A+ for the semester.

As for why I asked the question, I'll get to that soon. Unfortunately, it will take me more than two sentences to explain.

(FYI, for those who don't know, my fantasy team has quite a few Rays' players, hence the Rays as my "favorite" team reference.)