Jim Joyce Doesn't Know Why He's Home for Playoffs

With the 2010 MLB Playoffs now in full swing, only the league's best teams are still playing. The same is true of umpires. After a season-long evaluation, the top-rated umpires get to work the postseason. Unfortunately for Jim Joyce, the ump who blew an historic call earlier this year that cost Tigers' pitcher Armando Galarraga a perfect game, he won't be working these playoffs.

"Yeah, I was surprised that they didn't pick me," says Joyce, who enjoys Christmas lighting as a hobby and once was told that he might be related to Irish author James Joyce, according to his MLB profile page. "Maybe there was some type of technical glitch or clerical oversight. When you really think about it, I had a helluva good season as an ump. I should be working these playoffs, not stuck at home like the Pittsburgh Pirates."

You might think that sitting at home and watching the MLB playoffs wouldn't be all that bad, but Joyce has found it maddening. "I've seen so many blown calls on TV, it's unbelievable," says Joyce. "Did you see what Paul Emmel did to Jason Heyward in the 9th inning of Game 3 in the Braves-Giants series? Heyward took five pitches and instead of getting a walk, Emmel inexplicably called it a strikeout. The only way I'd say Emmel got that entire at-bat right would be if it were Opposite Day.

"And what was Hunter Wendelstedt thinking in Game 2 of Yanks-Twins when he didn't ring up Lance Berkman in the 7th inning? I have no idea," says Joyce. "Or how about both Jim Wolf and Jerry Meals missing that check swing call on Michael Young in the Rays-Rangers series? I really felt bad for Joe Maddon, and believe me, when Maddon was giving Wolf the business, I was right there with him standing and screaming at my TV for both Wolf and Meals to get their heads out of their butts." 

Historic mistake: On June 2, 2010, Jim Joyce calls the runner safe even though he was obviously out. Perhaps the most infamous blown call in MLB history, Joyce single-handedly cost Armando Galarraga a perfect game. Could this be the reason he's not allowed to ump in this year's playoffs?

Despite Joyce's frustrations with not being in the playoffs and having to watch other umps consistently miss critical calls, he tries to keep things in perspective. "Being a major league baseball umpire is a tough job. It's not like being an NFL ref, where you can basically just make any call you want and then let the cameras bail you out on a replay."

When asked if his blown call that cost Armando Galarraga a once-in-a-lifetime chance at the record books might be why he didn't receive a high enough umpire rating, Joyce scoffs at the notion. "Look, that was an honest mistake, and I've apologized for ruining that kid's shot at baseball immortality," he explains. "Besides, Galarraga isn't even in these playoffs. And if he were, I'd be sure to give him a make-up call or two." 

Is Mike Quade's Name Sexy Enough to Be Next Cubs Manager?

Mike Quade feels that he's done everything possible to become the next manager of the Chicago Cubs. He's managed 17 seasons in the minors, earned Manager of the Year honors twice, won multiple championships, coached for two major league teams, spent the past four seasons as a coach for the very Cubs he hopes to manage, had possibly the best start in Cubs history for an interim manager going 24-13, and has players saying they want him to be their manager in 2011. It sure sounds like an impressive resume, but one thing might be missing. Does Mike Quade (pronounced "KWAH-dee") have a sexy enough name to become the next Cubs manager?

"Does the sexiness of a name factor into our thought process? Of course it does," admits Jim Hendry, Cubs general manager. "How else do you explain us giving $136 million to Alfonso Soriano?"

So which sexy names might be on the Cubs radar? It's no secret that Cub fans carry a torch for a name like Joe Girardi, who is a former Cub, won a recent World Series, and has the Italian thing going on. Although, the name that really pushes all the right buttons for Cubbie Nation is that of Ryne Sandberg, a Hall of Fame Cub and the most lovable of the Lovable Losers.

"Of all the names being considered for the Cubs managerial opening, I realize that mine isn't the sexiest," says Quade. "But you have to remember, my birth name was Gregory Quade. So I'm trying. You at least have to admit that Mike Quade sounds better than Gregory Quade."

However, if Quade hears that his name is the only thing keeping him from his dream job, he's willing to compromise. "If it came down to it, yes, I'd change my name. My wife has already suggested that I change it to the most successful name in managing today: Bobby Cox. She also just likes the idea of waking up every morning in the arms of a Bobby Cox."

It's hard to know what the future will hold, but two names that Quade doesn't have to worry about would be the previous two Cubs managers: Lou Piniella and Dusty Baker. Quade adds, "As far as I'm concerned, the name 'Dusty Baker' sounds like a health code violation."

The Most Interesting Man in the World Is Decidedly Mediocre at Fantasy Baseball

You might know him as the suave actor who plays "The Most Interesting Man in the World" in the wildly popular Dos Equis beer commercials. But behind this carefully crafted image is a regular joe named Jonathan Goldsmith. And, just like most fantasy baseball managers, he's struggling to figure out what went wrong with his team this season.

"It's frustrating," says Goldsmith. "My team got out of the gates fine, but then we started to slump. I made things worse with some moves that backfired, and then the injuries started to pile up. By August I wasn't running a fantasy team, I was running a MASH unit."

Goldsmith's team, The Two-Bit Actors, is currently running 8th in the 12-team Beer Guys League. It's his 14th season playing fantasy baseball, with his best finish being fifth place all the way back in 1998. "It's hard to believe that after all these years I'm still trying to recreate the magic of that 1998 season when I finished fifth," admits Goldsmith. "Although, in fairness, our league only had 6 teams that season -- and one of them was run by the Budweiser Frogs."

So who is winning the Beer Guys League this season? Goldsmith bristles at the question. "Oh, it's one of those Miller Lite bartender chicks," he says with the wave of a hand. "Turns out she's not just hot, she's also smart. And too cool for school. I tried to get her phone number, but she told me point blank that she prefers athletes."

Pictured above: Goldsmith gets scolded by a colleague. "Uh, Jonathan, you do realize you can't smoke that filthy thing in here, right?"

Looking ahead to next season, Goldsmith is already getting excited. He vows not to repeat the mistake he made back in June when he traded away Jose Bautista for Stephen Strasburg. In fact, he likes the idea of taking Bautista in the first round. "I wouldn't pass up on 50 home runs a second time, would you?"

When asked if he could say something interesting about fantasy baseball just like his character in the Dos Equis commercials, Goldsmith thought for an uncomfortable seven seconds before finally admitting that he'd need someone from the ad agency to write the line. He then declined further comment.

Stay thirsty for first, my friend.

Hit Parade: 7/25 - 7/31

MAYBE THEY'RE NUTS: Why don't more MLB players wear cups? (And if Huston Street doesn't wear one, will he change his mind?)

WHAT'S WITH ALL THE NO-HITTERS this year? Uh, not much, really. Joe Sheehan's article from a few weeks ago still holds up today: "This isn't actually that unusual, even in modern baseball history. Back in 1990 there were four no-hitters in June alone, capped by Dave Stewart and Fernando Valenzuela each tossing one on June 29. A year later, there were five no-hitters in a two-month stretch starting just before the All-Star break, including two combined no-hitters and a perfect game by Dennis Martinez. Those two seasons, '90 and '91, are tied for second place all-time in number of no-hitters thrown at seven, and they hold the modern record."

ARE THE WHITE SOX running into trouble? (Personally, I buy into the 70% theory.)

NEW BULLS' FORWARD Kyle Korver demonstrated how not to throw the first pitch at a Cub game this past weekend.

HAWK IN THE HALL: "I never knew what it felt like to be loved by a city until I arrived in Chicago. You are the reason I kept playing the game. I can't thank you enough for what you gave to me. You were the winds beneath the Hawk's wings." (Congrats to Andre Dawson!)

REPORT CARDS: Chairman Gau is handing out grades for the first half of the UPL fantasy baseball season.

ADVANCED FANTASY BASEBALL: Post All-Star Break Prospects to Watch. (I was disappointed a few days ago to discover that Domonic Brown is not available in the UPL. Blast you, CJ! Fortunately, this article goes way beyond Brown.)

CARLOS QUESTIONABLE: This is for all you Sox fans and Carlos Quentin fantasy owners out there:

HT: Carl Skanberg's Smells Like Mascot.

Memo to Drew Storen

To Mr. Drew Storen:

You might not be aware of this, but you are a member of my fantasy baseball team, the '90 Reds. In other words, I "own" you.

It has recently come to my attention via Mark Titus, Club Trillion founder, that you have a Twitter account. As part of my responsibilities to ensure that the '90 Reds and its players are always performing at an optimal level, I have taken to monitoring your tweeting activities.

Yesterday, mere hours before your night game against the Milwaukee Brewers, you were tweeting about your upcoming Bobblehead Night in August. This shameless act of self-promotion wouldn't normally be a problem for me, except that when you entered a tie ballgame in the 9th inning later that night, you didn't get the job done and took the loss.

What was wrong with you? Were you thinking about how cool it will be to have a Bobblehead Night in August? Perhaps you were pondering what you'd tweet after the game? Or maybe you were wondering when you'll get your 5,000th follower on Twitter?

Here's the problem. My '90 Reds fantasy team is in a dogfight trying to get back in the Urbana Premier League (UPL) race. For a while there we were in 5th, trying to claw our way into 4th and then maybe higher. But now we've fallen back to 6th. When I look at your last six outings, four of them have been stinkers. I don't expect you to be perfect, but I do expect you to have a laser focus on getting batters out. This laser focus comes into question when I see you on game day tinkering with your iPhone to tweet your peeps about Bobblehead dolls.

I'm your biggest fan, Mr. Storen. I used my #1 waiver priority to scoop you off the waiver wire the day you were called up to the bigs. So I have a lot invested in you, especially considering that the UPL is a keeper league. But I also want you to know that by using my #1 waiver priority on you, it cost me a shot at Buster Posey, who has turned out to be one of this season's best young hitters. So that's the benchmark you'll be measured against. And, if you let me down, I won't hesitate to trade you to UPL's last place team.

Sincerely,
Your Fantasy Boss
Owner, '90 Reds fantasy baseball team

Number 11

I liked this one from the blog Smells Like Mascot:

Global Warming Might Help Padres' Cold Bats

For the past two seasons the San Diego Padres' offense has finished at the bottom of the major leagues. But the team's fans can take heart, help might finally be on the way. According to a new study published by the University of California at Berkeley, the rising temperatures associated with dangerous global warming should also extend to the Padres' cold bats, improving the team's chances of making the playoffs.

"The devastating effects of global warming include melting polar ice caps, rising ocean levels, altered ecosystems, accelerated extinction of species, disrupted food supplies, and the downward spiral of economies," reported the study, published last week by UC-Berkeley's Department of Environmental Science, Policy, and Management. "But there is a silver lining here: The earth's widespread rising temperatures should also heat up the Padres' bats--even David Eckstein's ice cold bat."

While the study concluded that it might take "up to two decades" for the Padres' bats to heat up enough to make a run at the playoffs, some evidence shows global warming is already having a positive impact on the team's offense. The study cited data showing that the Padres' bats did exhibit mild warming last year, moving from 30th out of 30 teams in 2008, up to 29th in 2009.

The earth's rising temperatures could put the San Diego Zoo's polar bear exhibit on thin ice, but global warming could also be a boon for the city's professional baseball team.

The scientific community seems to be in agreement on the issue of global warming heating up the Padres' cold bats. However, not everyone is convinced. ESPN's Tim Kurkjian counts himself among the skeptics. "We all know that the Padres' only good hitter, Adrian Gonzalez, is going to be traded away by the All-Star break," explained Kurkjian, "so if anything, in the second half of 2010 we should expect the Padres' bats to experience further cooling."

McGwire Changes Tune, Glad Brother Gave Gory Details About His Illegal Steroid Use

It's been a roller coaster year for Mark McGwire. From his much-hyped steroid admission to his hiring as Cardinals hitting coach to his brother Jay's new book about his shameful yet juicy past, McGwire has already had his share of ups and downs in 2010.

"It was tough enough dealing with the lies of Jose Canseco, the Mitchell Report, and the media," said McGwire last week. "But the toughest was when I heard my own brother was stepping forward with a fresh set of lies. At least with the other liars I could say, 'They don't know me.' Or I could claim to remain silent in an effort to protect my family. But when the charges are coming from your own brother, these formerly solid defenses start to break down." 

However, after finally getting a chance to read his brother's book this week, McGwire has changed his tune. "It's surprisinlgy accurate," admits the former slugger, now 46. "Jay was able to go into all the gory and embarrassing details of my illegal steroid use as though he were actually there or something. And as I read all of his accounts about my odd personality and character shortcomings, I kept saying to myself, 'That's totally me.'"

McGwire is happy for his brother and wishes him well with the book's sales. "I'm so proud when I look at this book and see his name, Jay McGwire, in big letters on the front cover as the author. I remember back in high school Jay was terrible in English class. It's pretty amazing that he was able to come out of nowhere and successfully write a book without any outside, performance-enhancing help."

Just for laughs

Admittedly, I've been following the Leno-Conan drama over the past week or so. In some ways I'm reminded of the Greek story of Oedipus where the parents were warned that their son will grow up to kill his father and marry his mother. Upon hearing this the parents take drastic measures to prevent it from coming true, but in the end their own actions help fulfill the prophecy. 

As of this writing, the conventional wisdom is that Jay Leno will get 'The Tonight Show' back at 11:35 ET and Conan O'Brien will leave to do his own show on Fox. But a lot can change--and quickly--in the TV business. Only time will tell.

In the meantime, I've been thinking about great comedians and recalled of an old baseball sketch by Abbott and Costello. I'm sure most of you have seen this before, but it might be worth another look:

Big Unit Shuts Down

So Randy Johnson is calling it a career. And wow, what a career he had. I remember back in '95 when he was on that exciting Mariners team--with Ken Griffey Jr., Alex Rodriguez, and Edgar Martinez--that made it past the Yankees in the playoffs. I also recall his dominant 2001 season that helped me win my first fantasy baseball championship. There were more than a few times that season when I was working the 10 p.m. to 1 a.m. shift in a UIUC computer lab and would check his real-time game stats on the west coast; it was usually good news for me.

Both Johnson and Curt Schilling took their games to a whole new level in those 2001 playoffs, capping it off with a Game 7 World Series victory over those same dreaded Yanks. If memory serves me correctly, Johnson pitched Game 6, got the win, and afterward was asked if he'd be available on no rest for Game 7. He said he would be, and I believed him.

Schilling started Game 7 and did well, but after pitching to a 1-0 lead heading into the 7th, he finally surrendered the lead to the Yanks in the 8th. As a fan, I was distressed, and I could see that Schilling was beyond distressed. His team had battled the defending champs for so long and so hard, only to see it all slip away. When Arizona's manager Bob Brenly went to the mound to take the ball from Schilling, I'll never forget him patting Schill on the back and saying, "You're my hero." At that moment I thought to myself, "Curt Schilling's his hero? He just blew the World Series! My hero would be Randy Johnson. He's a better pitcher, plus he was awesome for my fantasy team." (Side note: All these years later I still ponder Brenly's words to Schilling on that pressure-packed World Series Game 7 mound. In hindsight, I think there's a lesson in leadership there, both in what he said and how he said it.)

The call to the pen was made for Miguel Batista. He got one out, and then they brought in Johnson who got the final four outs for Arizona. Johnson picked up his third 'W' of the series as the D-Backs unexpectedly rallied for two against Mariano Rivera in the bottom of the 9th for a thrilling 3-2 victory. Johnson and Schilling were named co-MVPs of that World Series.

With Randy Johnson, I'll always think of dominance: 300K seasons, 5 Cy Youngs, a perfect game, carrying teams into the postseason. I'll remember the All-Star Game when Larry Walker jokingly turned his batting helmet around and batted right handed, an admission to how frightening it can be for a lefty to go up against the Big Unit. I'll also remember his 20K game against the Reds and how he battled through back injuries to finally reach and surpass 300 career wins.

But what I'll probably remember most about Randy Johnson is what he accomplished with one pitch in spring training:



Thanks for the memories, Randy.

What good are bragging rights if you don't brag?

Earlier this month the Urbana Premier League (UPL) wrapped up its 9th baseball season. Time sure does fly. It seems like just yesterday I was getting ready for the draft, trying to get off to the best start possible. After the draft, I posted a brief analysis saying that my '90 Reds would be dangerous. By early May, we had bubbled to the top of the standings, but I still needed to add speed. At the All-Star Break, I reported that my team had found speed, overcome adversity, and was hitting on all cylinders, yet my grasp on first remained fragile.

So after a hard fought six-month battle, how did it all end?

Team IamJabrone pushed me all the way to the final day. And at times I was concerned that my team couldn't hold off the defending champ. I even made an attempt (which was rebuffed) to collude against him. But when the clock finally did run out on this season, the '90 Reds were still on top; and I was celebrating my third UPL championship.

Now there is only one thing left to do.

Mr. Chairman, I officially motion for you to make me king...


As we move toward a new league order...

'90 Reds 116
IamJabrone 112
Westy's Sluggers 98
SuckMyknuckleballs 79.5
Cheeseheads 77.5
Phatsnapper 76
Black Sox 73
Muddy Mush Heads 61.5
TheJimmyDixLongballs 53
Hats for Bats 53
Benver Droncos 42.5
O.N. Thugs 24

P.S. Make sure to write my name really pretty on the UPL Bill.

NuttyBuddy

Former MLB pitcher Mark Littell is taking the phrase "stand behind your product" rather literally...



And if you can't get enough of Littell's NuttyBuddy taking a 90 m.p.h. fastball at point blank range, then here's another video for you viewing amusement.

The calm before the storm

When I wake up the morning of the fantasy baseball draft, I feel like a kid on Christmas Day ready to rip into all of his presents. Sure, I have some ideas as to what I might get, but there also will be a few surprises along the way.

As I type this post I already feel the adrenaline starting to simmer. Once the draft starts on Saturday morning, I'll have a good adrenaline rush going and the time will fly by.

This year it's a keeper league, so that alters the strategy--and raises the stakes. This draft will be our most important one yet.

As a blogger, most people on the Internet only know me for the words I write. They don't know what I look like or how I act in "real life." This year I've decided to start changing that by posting videos where I share some of my innermost thoughts. As such, today I got together with a few friends who helped me make an amateur music video. It's based on a song that I wrote last night when I couldn't sleep. In this song I express my raw emotions for this upcoming draft. I know this video is not much, but it's the best my friends and I could do on such short notice. I hope you like it...

'Tis the season for giving

In the spirit of Christmas, I figured that it was time to give a gift on this blog. But not just any gift. Yes, you guessed it… it’s time for another prestigious award.

I usually steer clear of politics on this blog, so please forgive me as I give a brief background for this award. Back in 2007, Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton launched her campaign to become the first woman elected President of the United States. She began her campaign letting the voters in our great country know that she wanted to have a “conversation” with us. She wanted us, as Americans, to explore ideas together and have an open and honest dialogue.

While Senator Clinton’s campaign for president ultimately fell short, her conversation continues to this day. Last month, President-elect Barack Obama nominated Clinton to be U.S. Secretary of State where she will be able to continue this conversation all around the globe.

The My Baseball Fantasy blog recognizes Senator Hillary Clinton as our country’s soon-to-be top diplomat who, above all else, is committed to the conversation and just so happens to be a lifelong Yankees fan, too. For these reasons, and others, I am proud to unveil the most prestigious award this blog has ever bestowed upon a reader: “The Hillary Clinton Conversation Award.”

The “Hillary Clinton Conversation Award” (or “Hillary” for short) goes to reader who, over the course of the year, adds the most to the baseball conversation on this blog. While this award favors quality over quantity, a poster’s entire body of work (for that year) is considered.

Deciding who would win the Hillary this year was an extremely difficult task. Having never done this before, I first tried various subjective methods to calculate points and kept getting a different winner each time. As such, I was essentially stuck with a four-way tie. With it being Christmas and all, I thought that would actually be a nice story—just give the first-ever Hillary to all four of my readers. But then I thought, “No, this award needs to have some integrity.”

So how to break the tie?

Just when all seemed hopeless, I remembered a post of mine from late July. It was titled, “What if?” In it, I pondered what a regular MLB fan should do if they just so happened to be in the dugout when a bench-clearing brawl breaks out. I was careful not to say too much in the post, because I wanted to see how readers would connect the dots on their own.

In reality, the situation I described in the “What if” post gives the reader only two choices: Stay in the dugout and break from the brotherhood—a dishonor so disgraceful that your entire experience would be wrecked; or save face and go out there and get your butt totally kicked in.

Now some people might say, “I’ll go out there and really hold my own!” Well, not so fast. First off, remember that you’re a regular fan. MLB players are professional athletes, and regular fans are not. Even the journeymen are professional athletes. Just because a guy has a .216 batting average or a 6.83 ERA doesn’t mean you could “hold your own” with them in a fight. You’d get your ass kicked. Badly.

On the other hand, others might say, "I'd just stay in the dugout." Well, okay, you'd only be breaking the most sacred of unwritten sports rules: Protect your teammates.

So as I’m pondering this dilemma, a possible (albeit ugly) solution does come to mind. During these bench-clearing brawls, it’s not just MLB players who join the melee. It’s coaches, too; and some of those guys are really getting up there in years. I then remembered the time a few years back when Don Zimmer charged Pedro Martinez who, in self defense, pushed an already stumbling Zimmer down to the ground. (Martinez caught hell for that in the media, but I honestly always thought Zimmer was lucky that nothing worse happened to him.) In any case, as I was writing the “What if” post I thought to myself, “Well, if I were ever in one of those brawls, my best bet would be to find a guy like Zimmer…”


I finished my post by posing this question to the readers: “My question to you, the regular fan sitting in the dugout, is this: What would you do and why?”

Lo and behold, Chairman Gau gave a concise answer that still managed to touch on all of the major themes that I had been considering. Here are his golden words verbatim:

“I think that I go out there, swinging, and go down in infamy. Maybe go find Don Zimmer or some other old dude.”

So Chairman Gau, with your countless insights into the game of baseball, off-color humor, and willingness to admit that in an MLB brawl your best shot at respectability would be to find Don Zimmer, you have contributed to the conversation on this blog more than any of the other six billion people on this planet. As such, My Baseball Fantasy proudly presents you with "The 2008 Hillary Clinton Conversation Award."

Congratulations, Chairman Gau!

Singin' the Cubbie Blues

It might take another hundred years, but some day Eddie Vedder will be right.



(BTW, I always pictured this song as being sung by depressed, drunk Cubs fans after yet another loss. And besides, this song would lose its charm if the Cubs actually did go all the way.)

N

Oh, what a difference a single letter can make.

It's just a hat

I don't have many hats. In fact, when it comes to ball caps, I currently only have two. One is a white U. of I. hat which I put on my bed head when I wake up in the morning to go running (which usually only happens once or twice a week). My other cap is the one worn by the Cubs on the road (pictured above)--I got it last year at a Cubs game mainly because I needed something to keep the sun off me.

When I was getting ready to go to the Taste of Chicago on Saturday, I figured that I should wear a hat since I'd be outside all day. I would have liked to have worn my white U. of I. cap, but since it's not actually white but yellow and smells like it has six years' worth of sweat stains in it, I decided to go wtih my fresh Cubs hat. However, I didn't make this decision without some hesitation. After all, the emotions in this city are riding higher and higher with each passing week. For a brief moment, I pictured myself in the middle of 100 restaurant canopies at the Taste, holding a slice of deep dish pizza in one hand and an Italian beef in the other, happy as a kid in a candy store... but then somebody makes a comment about my Cubs hat and next thing you know a minor skirmish turns into a full-scale riot with even the restaurants taking sides (North and South) for a brutal "Black and Blue" Windy City brawl that makes national news.

But of course, I snapped out of it and told myself, "That could never happen. Nobody will say anything to you." So I put on my Cubs hat and went on my way.

I hadn't been at the Taste more than 20 minutes before some older guy walking past me said, "Like your hat." I wasn't really paying attention to him, so I wasn't sure if he was talking to me. But I looked up and realized he had to be talking to me, so I just muttered, "Thanks." Although, honestly, it felt weird. The only thing weirder would have been if the same guy had said the same thing about the same hat while I was at Wrigley Field.

Uh, thanks.

But I couldn't complain. It was better than having a White Sox fan taunt me. (Especially since I root for the White Sox too.)

So the day went on and things were going well, as planned. The crowds by now had swelled, so there were certainly more people walking in closer quarters. As I made my way toward the exit, there was a guy walking along, talking to a group of teenage girls nearby. I could tell they didn't want him around, but he kept talking, going on and on about how God loves them and such. (One of the girls sneered to another, "I just want to walk up, kick him in the butt and say, 'Shut up!'") But what was really funny was when the guy switched from trumpeting theology to wondering aloud, "Does anyone have any tickets they don't want?" (He was referring to the tickets used to buy food at the Taste.) Over and over, to nobody in particular, he would ask the same question, "Does anyone have any tickets they don't want?"

Everyone kept walking, but so did he. At one point I thought he had gone another direction, but when I looked over I saw him again--and he saw me.

And he noticed something.

"Oh, you're a Cubs fan. I'm a White Sox fan!"

Dang it. I can see the exit, but now this is happening.

He continues, "The Cubs are going to get theirs. We're gonna whup 'em!" And of course, as he was prone to doing, he couldn't just say something once. He had to say it five times with that crazy look in his eyes. "You're gonna get yours! You're gonna get yours!"

He seemed harmless enough, so I found the whole thing amusing. Although, if he had instead pointed at me and hollered, "That Cubs fan stole my tickets!" then that wouldn't have been quite as amusing. That would have made me a marked man among the White Sox fans and who knows, it might have even started a riot...

Switch pitcher

My guess is that there are about 30 switch hitters in the MLB at any given time. However, I've often wondered why I hadn't even heard of a single switch pitcher. Furthermore, I've been curious as to how that would work. Would the pitcher be allowed to have two gloves with him on the mound? What about switching hands during an at-bat? The questions went on and on.

Well, it looks like I'm finally going to get the answers to my questions.

The Yankees recently drafted Pat Venditte, a switch pitcher, in the 20th round. He made his professional debut in Single A on Thursday during the 9th inning. He started out pretty well, giving up a hit and getting two batters out. But, according to this AP story, the plot then thickened...

Things got a tad dizzying when designated hitter Ralph Henriquez, who had taken his on-deck circle swings as a lefty, entered the batter's box from the right side.

Venditte put his specially made glove (it has six fingers, two webs and fits on both hands) on his left hand, and got ready to pitch right-handed.

Henriquez then changed his mind and switched sides of the plate, because a batter sees the ball sooner when it is thrown by a pitcher using the opposite hand.

So Venditte shifted his glove to the other hand.

Then it happened again.

And again.

And again.

Apparently unsure of how the rules handle such an oddity, the umpires didn't stop the cat-and-mouse game until Venditte walked toward the plate and said something while pointing at Henriquez. Umpires and both managers then huddled and the umps decided the batter and pitcher can both change sides one time per at-bat, and that the batter must declare first.

The ruling favored the pitcher, since he gets to declare last.

About seven minutes after he first stepped in, Henriquez struck out on four pitches as a righty against a right-handed Venditte and slammed his bat in frustration.

As it turns out, the MLB is currently trying to decide exactly what the official rules should be for this situation. So stay tuned...

Bye bye

Some of you might remember my frustration post from last month. At the time, I didn't really go into too many details, but yes, something very specific--a single event--had set me off; and only now am I able to directly confront the pain and talk about it.

Let's revisit my post from April 19:

After the Big Hurt's second consecutive 0-for-4 outing on Friday, I took a good look at his season stats and decided that I could do better. After perusing the waiver wire, I picked up Carlos Quentin (instead of Ryan Ludwick whom I also considered).

Well, well, well. Who was the manager with the foresight, intuition, and guts to pick up Carlos Quentin on April 19? That's right. Me.

What made my Quentin pick-up even better was that he played for the White Sox, a team that I naturally cheer for, and furthermore, the main road by my apartment that I drive on every single day is Quentin Road. It's like Quentin and my team were made for each other.

The only problem is that a few days later I dropped him for a player who shall remain nameless on this blog.

Granted, I didn't view the Quentin demotion as permanent. I just wanted to juggle my roster around a bit... and I figured nobody else would pick him up before I re-acquired him. But of course, somebody did snag him off waivers before I could (apparently Yahoo doesn't let you put a waiver request in for a player you just dropped).

But that's not even what I'm upset about. As it so happened, at the time I was really trying to figure out how to increase steals and runs for my team; and as the month of May neared, I ramped up my efforts to swing a deal. One player that I really targeted was Hanley Ramirez.

Then one night I finally put together my best offer for Hanley. I forget the exact details, but it was an aggressive offer. When I checked the league the next day, I saw a "Protest" message on the board. I figured the trade had gone through (although I didn't understand how it could be protested). With excitement, I went to verify that I would be receiving Hanley Ramirez, the man who would lead my team to the promised land...

But what I found instead was that the dreaded Thugs had traded for Carlos Quentin.

That was enough to spark my Lee Elia-style tirade; and honestly, I think the recurring thought of Quentin slipping through my fingers into the Thugs' clutches has been affecting my play. A few weeks ago I erred by dropping Shane Victorino for Fred Lewis. Just the other day I thought (and thought) about dropping Mark DeRosa for Jerry Hairston, but I wasn't quick enough with the trigger. My string of mental lapses seems to know no end.

However, last week I heard Mariah Carey's new "Bye Bye" song on the radio, and I couldn't believe what I was hearing. It was as though she knew what I was going through, and that she had written the song just for me and my loss of Carlos Quentin.

So I decided that the only way I could move on from this incident was to bring in Mariah and have her perform "Bye Bye" for my team (the '90 Reds are a big-market team in the UPL so we've got the resources).

Even though I'll always have the depressing Quentin Road reminder at least twice a day for the rest of the summer, I have to start the process of putting this behind me. It's a new month and time for a clean slate.

For all you fantasy baseball players out there who have lost someone to another team, come on, don't be ashamed, put your hand to the sky and sing...

Is Yost toast?

I haven't watched many Brewer games, so I'm not in much of a position to judge Ned Yost as a manager. However, it did raise a red flag with me last year when the Brewers called up Yovani Gallardo and immediately put him in the bullpen. If that was Yost's decision, then I will count that as a strike against him. As far as I'm concerned, when you have a top-flight prospect like Gallardo you don't bring him up to the majors to sit around in the bullpen for a month before inserting him into the starting rotation. Why mess up his rhythm?

In any case, my point here is that the Brewers are in 4th place, and it seems that the pressure is building on Yost. Sure, it's not his fault his team doesn't have a bullpen and the starters are injured, but professional sports are brutal. When things go bad, the manager is usually among the first to go.

There is currently much speculation as to which MLB manager will be the next one canned. Who would your guess be?